"It's A Dirty Job (But Someone's Got To Do It)"
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Another humorous tour de force by the sinister Frollo, this tune both laments and celebrates his distasteful duties as society's "enforcer". With obvious relish, he metes out floggings and other tortures so "the status quo can sleep at night." In a hilarious bit of slapstick, his feckless victims rattle their chains and join in singing the last refrain.
It's A Dirty Job
(lyrics and music by Rainey)
(Sung by Frollo:)

I get up in the morning
When the new day's dawning
And the first thing on my mind
Are all the unsolved problems
Lost, pathetic people
And fuck-ups waiting in line
Just like little children
Wanting them a daddy
Needing all my sympathy
Well I didn't make this cold, cold world
And the hard way it's got to be
Mother Nature moves in mysterious ways
I'm only helping Mother Nature weed out the strays
Natural Selection is the name of the game
And God knows there's quite a selection to be made


All these bleeding hearts, I don't need 'em
I won't heed 'em
I'll supersede 'em
All these vagrant bums, I don't want them
They're the bottom (of the barrel)
I'll stomp them
All these hangers-on, they're disaster
For the resta'
All of us that hasta'
Go out and try to be the rare responsible few
Who keep it all from going straight to Shhhhhh

It's a dirty job, but someone's got to do it
Someone better do it right
It's a filthy job, but if nobody does it
Will the Status Quo sleep tonight?
Whenever any of you see any of them
You know you always turn away
So why do you pretend that you don't want me
To excise them from the light of day
It's not as though you included them in your crowd
Invited them to your house and palled around anyhow

It's a dirty job, but Lord, I'm gonna do it
I'm the man to do it right
Do it right!
Do it right!

The things I do aren't easy
Can make you kind of queasy
Can cause a little sleeplessness
A little hard to take
When I'm all by myself
But in my heart I know I've
Done my best
Exterminating rubbish, working hard to punish
The worthless ones who ruin the curve
Well if they think they can get away with that
Then they've got a lot of nerve
It's hard enough to hold onto this dream built on sand
With every able body doing all that he can
Without these bloody leeches bleeding all of us white
It's not right, a parasite must be shut down tight
Oh, Yeah!

Wouldn't want to meet in an alley
Come on, tell me
Wouldn't you rally
Rather have them eradicated
And then cremated?
With all this riff-raff on every corner
How you gonna
Continue on a
Journey anywhere, try to get from here to there
When you have to wade knee-deep in Shhhhh

It's a dirty job but someone's got to do it
Someone better do it right
It's a filthy job, but if nobody does it
Will the Working Man lose the fight?
Someone has to do the protecting, subjecting
All this filth to a wrecking
It's a dirty job but someone better do it
And keep the lid screwed on tight
Remember, all that separates you from all of them
Is just the thin, thin line of this concerned citizen

Yeah, crucify them all, we don't need 'em
Let's treat 'em (to the rack)
And then bleed 'em
All these down-and-outs, they're disgusting
They're all rusting, rotten hulks
That need dusting
(It's a dirty, dirty job, someone's got to do it)
(It's a dirty, dirty job, heh, heh, heh, heh)
(It's a lousy, rotten job, but someone's got to do it)
(It's a dirty, dirty job, heh, heh, heh, heh)

And if you want this job to be handled right
You better shut your mouth and close your eyes real tight
And whoever was the moron who said power corrupts?
No, you never have to worry that'll happen, not much!
But if standards go up and you begin to fall
You won't be too surprised when I call?

It's a dirty job but someone's got to do it
Someone better do it right
It's a lousy job, but if I have to do it
There'll always be some schmuck to indict
It really doesn't matter it's not appreciated
People need to feel that their hands have not been tainted
Even though you all have made your contribution
Toward that ever silent night

So keep on building all these fabulous prisons
Soaring twenty stories high
I can fill 'em up just as fast as you can build 'em
And nobody's gonna ask me why
And You! better keep your nose to that grindstone
Yeah, baby, better toe the line
Cause it's a dirty job and God! I love to do it
I'll be ready for you right on time
It's a filthy job and no one wants to do it
So that makes this opportunity mine
Hey-hey-hey It's a dirty job and boy I'm glad to do it
Thank ya for this chance to shine!
Who'll do this dirty job (cause someone's gonna to do it)
And this one's gonna do it right, Yeah!

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